FIGHT BOTH THE CANCEROUS CELLS AND THE MALIGNANT THOUGHTS TOO
So, you have been given those words “You have cancer” or “I’m sorry, it’s cancer”, or how about “Your biopsy came back positive for malignant cells.”Either way you received your diagnosis, it is probably safe to say, it speared you deep in the heart. Maybe you had tried so hard to move on with your life and in the process of discovering your “new normal” you were speared for a second time. Those words “recurrence” or maybe even “You are now stage 4.” It takes you to a place of emotions wedged in a spinning wheel, one that you want so badly to jump off of…but somehow cannot. You feel stuck, maybe disappointed, and I am sure, even if just for a moment, you feel hopeless.
I would encourage you as the reader to imagine what this is like. The physical manifestations of hearing such words and even more, the impact on your mental state, but I am sure, you the reader know exactly what I mean. No need to imagine, you lived it! You lived or are living this life changing experience. And with something as significant as being told that you have cancer there will be significant shifts in your psychological state. Though we will all experience the following to varying degrees, the reality is we will feel them: anxiety, distress, depression, anger and possibly panic attacks. How about uncertainty, negativity, low self-esteem, body image issues and for some a strong desire to isolate? And fairly, no matter how “strong” a person may be, can we sincerely prepare for those words, “You have cancer?”
After a diagnosis it is so important to seek out mental health treatment and support. Unfortunately the members of our cancer treatment team will misinterpret a patient’s mental health needs as much as 35% of the time. But speaking about your anxiety or depression while simply trying to understand your prognosis can be difficult. As a mental health professional, psychotherapist to be exact, and a breast cancer survivor, I know first-hand how easily mental health changes are overlooked and underprioritized. The goal for our medical team is to keep us alive, but part of being alive is taking care of her our mental health and while undergoing treatment for physical wellness, the key to all around healing is undergoing treatment for mental wellness as well. It should not be ignored.
The brain is an organ just like our lungs, kidneys and our heart. It needs to be nourished and looked after. Illnesses in other parts of the body, such as breast cancer, can impact how our brain functions. Just as our lungs can shut down, so can our minds. Without treating it, we are decreasing our chances of survival and more importantly decreasing the odds of our ability to thrive on those days we are alive. I know that yes, at first my only ambition was to survive and persist beyond yesterday, but very quickly I realized that if I have a chance at tomorrow, how would I feel? What would I do with it? Could I handle it? Maybe I could, maybe I couldn’t. But unless I was taking care of my mental health, I was not going to give myself a proper chance.
If you have experienced a breast cancer diagnosis, you know the noteworthy power of social supports (caregivers, friends, mentors, other survivors etc.). These are the people who either know your exact experience because of their own diagnosis, or genuinely empathize with your circumstances. Having them around us ominously expands our capacity to speak our feelings and our needs. Lacking this type of support is correlated to intensified levels of anxiety and depression and in graver case scenarios, increase suicidal ideations.
Anxiety can be managed through medications such as Xanax or Ativan. Depression may be manageable with medications such as Zoloft, Prozac or Lexapro. But even then, I would implore you to consider the fact that when you come in for chemotherapy or when you come in for that Lupron shot to keep you in menopause in an effort to lower your estrogen levels, you are still expected to meet with someone on your cancer team first. The same should go with mental health treatment. Finding a psychiatrist, psychologist and/or licensed (psycho)therapist isn’t always an easiest feat, but it can be done, and should be prioritized. It can be critical to see one whether on medications or not, just as it is critical to meet with your oncologist.
There are several studies to show the psychological and physical benefits that cancer patients experience when they participate in mental health treatment. Treating the mind can teach emotion regulation skills, mindfulness and relaxation techniques, positive self-talk, the power of optimism and how to access it and stress management. It will also provide you with a safe space to pour out those emotions you haven’t felt comfortable to. All of which can alleviate the physical symptoms associated with your treatment and simply hearing those words, “You have cancer!”
Even as a breast cancer patient and survivor myself who works as a psychotherapist providing treatment to others, I too needed to treat my mind. And frankly to this very day, I am still in treatment for my mind. Healing is personal. It looks, sounds, feels and tastes different from person to person. No matter what your healing is like, I am here to remind you, that it not only incudes fighting those cancerous cells…it also includes fighting those malignant thoughts and feelings.
Some days will feel more like a war zone than others, and that is okay! When you were diagnosed you were thrown into a war with something so small yet so big. If you can, I encourage you to fight a well-rounded fight.
If we are trying to improve our chances at life we cannot ignore the power of our mental health and our mental wellness.
----Natasha Ewa (age 33)
Licensed Clinical Social Worker / Psychotherapist
I-Thrive Therapy and Wellness, LLC
ittandwellness.com
